Monday, May 30, 2016

Don't Judge Me

I thank BPHope.com for this thought-provoking article. Those of us living with depression know that these views are out there about out health challenge. It is time that we push back against this type of stigma. I like this article's message!

Don't Judge Me for My Depression

Is it stigma if bipolar depression is called a "personal and spiritual crisis"? In my opinion, YES. I treat my depression the way I would if it were a physical illness—because that's exactly what it is.

By Julie A. Fast

It's difficult to live with depression when a large segment of society doesn't even consider it an illness. I can't count the number of times people have asked me why I don't accept where I am in life and be happy. Some have suggested that I explore depression as a spiritual quest to find out why I was "chosen" for this particular illness. I can tell that others feel I have something wrong inside and if I would just fix it, the depression would go away.

I once read a book by a well-known spiritual teacher. It made me so upset I slammed it shut and threw it in the recycle bin! His focus was on the soul. He talked of how depression is a "reaction to the problems of the world" as well as "unhealthy personal choices." He pontificated that the focus on physical treatment ignores the real problem, which is that people with depression are spiritually bereft.

What?

I have a medical illness. It's called depression. I'm not in spiritual crisis. When someone implies that depression is my fault and that through "inner exploration" I can find peace, it makes me more ill. It puts the burden, and the blame, on me for not being able to manage depression on my own.

I've never heard a spiritual guru say that diabetes is a dearth of spirituality in a person with that illness. Imagine a book saying that a lack of insulin output is a result of an inappropriate reaction to the world. How about children with cancer—are they spiritually bereft? Why are people with bipolar disorder singled out as responsible for our depression when other physical illnesses are treated with such compassion?

As I write this, I feel my anger rising. That's okay, though, because anger is healthy when it's justified—as it is when the origin of my depression is being questioned by people who don't understand how devastating that can be for someone whose diagnosis presents enough challenges to contend with already.

Is this viewpoint stigma? Stigma means that we are judged negatively for having an illness that affects our behavior. Is it stigma if depression is called a "personal and spiritual crisis"? In my opinion, yes. We are no longer in the Middle Ages, when this was a common misconception. Are we back to literally "beating the Devil out" of people who have illnesses we don't understand? I expect more from those writing and speaking on physical and mental health today.

If my symptoms were due to a spiritual or emotional crisis, they would be constant. They aren't; I don't have these symptoms when I'm feeling well. My depression is my brain's reaction to triggers. I have an illness with very well-documented symptomsthat all people with the illness share. I can't let someone tell me that I just need to change myself inside in order to get well—I tried that for too many years with little success. The only thing that has worked for me is treating my depression the way I would if it were a physical illness—because that's exactly what it is. Then if I have the desire to explore the spiritual world, that's fine; I can do so with a clear mind.

I have a medical illness. It's called depression. I'm not in spiritual crisis.

When used as a healing tool, spirituality is a positive force. But I resent being told that my spirituality, or lack thereof, is the reason I'm depressed. I will continue to move forward in my own healing and remind myself that suicidal thoughts during a crisis, or paranoid thoughts when I'm in a new relationship, is about brain chemicals, not some kind of character flaw on my part.

We all have a path. It may be that you do agree that depression is a spiritual issue, and I completely respect your opinion. And authors have the right to state any views they want, any way they want. But I have to request, with all due respect, that anyone who writes and speaks publicly on this topic try to find more compassion for those of us undergoing medical treatment for depression. We could use the support!

Printed as "Fast Talk: Don't Judge Me For My Depression", Summer 2013

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Julie A. Fast is the bestselling author of Loving Someone with Bipolar, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You're Depressed. She is an award winning columnist for bp Magazine ("Fast Talk") and has one of the top bipolar disorder blogs on the internet. Julie is the bipolar disorder management specialist on the Oprah and Dr. Oz website www.ShareCare.com. She was the original consultant for Claire Danes on Homeland. Julie is not only a leading expert on helping those affected by bipolar disorder and depression, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1995 and successfully (as best she can!) manages the illness with medications and the strategies in her books. Julie knows firsthand about living with and loving someone with bipolar disorder within her own life and helps family members, partners and health care professionals understand and support those with the illness. Julie is a highly in demand family and partner coach, speaker and educator who is passionate about changing the way the world views and manages mood disorders.

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